Petition to have “cortisol levels rising” replace “triggered”
More you might like
What Don Juan Riberto REALLY doin in town:
I step out of my studio. The girl is still there. Having been coddled all her life, she is strong. This does not make sense, but I guess whatever. “Take me on as your apprentice,” she implores.
“What are three words that describe you?” I ask, proving I am kinder than you initially thought, and/or desperate to continue working.
“Comical, romantic, and gritty,” responds the girl. I look at her furiously.
I walk down the street into town. The silver maples sway in the breeze, and I curse them for their slow growth rate. Such plants only absorb 3% - 6% percent of the suns energy, leaving the rest to beat down on my face like a laser. I sigh. I know there will be more lasers, t(b-h).
The market is but a short train ride away. I do not emotionally connect to the announcer, however, and miss my stop. I have to switch to a bus. THIS announcer whispers to me, sultry, “Northbound.” I died of pleasure right there at the sound of the voice’s impeccable voice acting training, but I will not include this line, as it is inappropriate here, only loosely related to the rest of the paragraph. The announcer breaks into a rap.
I get off the bus in the market place. I approach a vender, and ask for my usual $115 worth of meat and vegetables.
“No,” says the vender. “For we have had our approved organic seal revoked from our dairy products.”
“No,” I retort. “That sentence should go AFTER sentence 24.”
“Okay,” he says. “No, for we have had our approved organic seal revoked from our dairy products.”
“Damn…” I murmur. “Well, do you have any Gulf Toadfish in?”
“No, sorry,” the vender shakes his head. “No fish. Their population has been going down, do to excessive cockblocking by the bottle-nosed dolphins.”
“DAMN!” I (com)pound a fist against the table at an annual rate.
“Sorry,” the vender shrugged. “May I interest you in some artisanal sea sponges? They are the alive dominators and, why, I’d go so far as to say they are the organism in charge!”
My ears perk up. “Artisinal, you say?” I lean over to examine the experimental tray. I frown. “Did you…roll and boil these yourself?”
The vender is quiet a moment. “Welllllll….no. But they are heavenly over a bed of soybeans and 151 bushels of corn!”
“DDDDDAAAAMMMNNNN!!!!!” I scream up at the heavens, where I know the Stick Man hears me.
I run off into the; near-by, road. I plunge my hands 69 feet, nay, a mile, nay TEN MILES into my pockets. Why. Why me.
I sigh. Perhaps it is my ancestor’s fault…perhaps they used too many resources for me to be economically successful. I hear a boat whistle far in the distance. I close my eyes. In the end…I know I have no one to blame but myself.
the signs as 2016 psat memes
- aries: lasers ... more lasers
- taurus: don juan ribero
- gemini: ∠DAB
- cancer: janelle's meat and vegetables
- leo: swarm of bees
- virgo: 69 foot oil
- libra: romantic and gritty subway announcers
- scorpio: sponges, the living bosses
- sagittarius: stickman
- capricorn: artisan discourse
- aquarius: dolphin pop
- pisces: gulf toadfish
- AJ CRIP: I would just like to point out that I'm a scorpio and in my comedy scene for theatre I'm a sponge
the signs as PSAT 2015
- Aries: NO CHANGE
- Taurus: the wolf pups
- Gemini: herminia
- Cancer: the triceratops has some competition as the most famous horned dinosaur
- Leo: DELETE it
- Virgo: big nose horn face
- Libra: a flash in the pan
- Scorpio: the relationship between Spanish moss and the Californian oak tree
- Sagittarius: Thad
- Capricorn: seditious
- Aquarius: the reason people go the farmer's market
- Pisces: the fish farmer
Am I the only one who calls push up bras boost mobile?
kalonaire